Okay so against social standards and stereotypes i have decided, by my own will, to start using Tumblr properly, maybe it might lead to some sort of emotional outlet? I don’t mean properly as in posting silly pictures of naked women with pointless words tattooed on them or being ‘indie as fuck.’
I mean, blogging. I have things i do indeed need to get of my chest, and i do not mean the layers of tar i have managed to build up over nearly 5 years of abusing my innocent body with gusts of cigarette smoke.
Life, in fact, is actually a funny thing. It dictates how we are up and down day to day through emotions we feel, or when down to science electric impulses in our brains releasing chemicals that make us feel sad, lonely, happy and many more.
I, being the over dramatic idiot i am, must have gallons of chemicals making me feel the need for passion, love and desire from someone else’s behalf. Maybe i’m only writing this because i’ve put on my reading glasses and feel like a genius, but there is actually a half of me screaming ‘YOU NEED TO LET THIS OUT.’
Not that i have let it out to a select few anyway but yes, however. I’m seeing someone, i am indeed. But i’m finding this one very hard to work out. So we text continuously for 2 weeks and see each other almost everyday. Then over the space of a night, it stops on his behalf. What the fuck did i do wrong, may i pleasantly ask? Did i not managed to pleasure your penis enough or something? No, no i must not be horrible. I am only, as it comes, wound up to the pure and simple fact i am now giving everything and getting nothing in return. He still comes and see’s me fine its just texting, i get no response? It’s like talking to a wall.
I don’t know wether to break it off or just carry on feeling miserable. I keep wanting to talk to him about it, but then end up pussy footing around the subject/situation. TYPICAL ME. So now i’ve resorted to turning on my Mac and blog furiously whilst i listen to the beautiful sound of rain against my window. WHY CAN I NOT SLEEP? I want to sleep, i look at my clock and its just coming up to two am and i need to be up at half eight?
Anyway, i do need to sleep and i need to ring my lover, if that, at four tomorrow to see if he even wants to come round. Another valid/invalid excuse obviously coming my way.
Life, please give me a chance what did i do to you?