Samuel

New Cover :)

7:14 am • 31 May 2012 • 3 notes

Upset

Okay, so we finally ended. It happened quick, but it was far from painless. I’m sat here, had a little cry, now i can’t. Memories of everything he said come pouring back, even things i didn’t remember before, little looks i got, or little things he said.

The human mind is complicated, therefor, i do not want one. I literally just cried, not over a boy, over the bond we managed to form. Its funny how one persons emotions can click of like that. I must do something to boys where they can’t feel the same again. He was SO in to me, like SO in to me then cold feet inevitably hit. I’ve closed it, it ended with a text from him… ‘Night sam xxxx’.

Text’s deleted, number deleted then when i get my hat back facebook deleted. I need to delete his beautiful face from my life, completely cut all communication. He said he likes being around me, that he still wanted to ‘hang’ with me as a mate, i can’t do that, i’d never let go of my feelings.

He had nothing to say after my words so i said okay well text me when you can drop my hat back, i’m going to bed night. Then the closing words of, ‘night sam’. Why am i remembering everything now, his smell, his smile, his words, his touch, his kiss?

We all know the next one will come along, better and bigger. We’ll find the one and be happy, but right now it feels no one is going to top this experience, i’m once again hurt. He dosen’t know how much he has hurt me, but i don’t want that on his shoulders… well i do, i’d like to think he’s upset to, but he let me go so he can’t hurt as much as i do, right? Or maybe he’ll live to regret it?

Ah there it goes, there goes the official feelings, i’ve already hit that stage. How does he feel? Whereas i must think of myself in the current time, where my life is now heading, what direction am i willing to take, where will life take me next, up or down? He came along so perfectly, he came in to my life and lit it up. It is now time to let it go, this is going to be hard.

He has to see me one last time to give me back my hat. Thats going to be a killer, thats officially the end. I have this vivd picture in my head of him handing over my hat and telling me he wants to not end it, that he does want me. But thats not going to happen and even if it did its inevitable that it wouldn’t work out, ‘lets have another go.’ will never work.

Time, its a funny thing. We waste it, we rush it, we hate it. It makes us late, it takes people from us, its gives us the best feelings or the best people in our lives on a limit. It’ll never please us, but what it really has done, that we’ve never thought about, is heal us. It’s our friend, its not our enemy. So time, please take my apology and be my friend, now start your process, for i am samuel pack, and i appreciate how much you do for me. Now let the clock tick.

7:59 pm • 9 May 2012

My new cover :)

4:44 pm • 9 May 2012 • 1 note

yougotpowelled asked: If you could go anywhere in the world with anyone where would you go and who would you take? (P.S: I love your video 'faggots' -it's so true!) x

my best friend chloe and probably to Maldives

7:17 pm • 8 May 2012

happypenises asked: you responded and followed me omg i love you

no problem, love you to beautiful xx

7:16 pm • 8 May 2012